


dancing around the lies we tell

by agreattimetobealive



Category: Dare Me (TV 2019), Dare Me - Megan Abbott
Genre: Drinking Games, F/F, Jealousy, cheer camp drama, intense rounds of never have i ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23406574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agreattimetobealive/pseuds/agreattimetobealive
Summary: this is a weird mix of book & show canon bc i wanted to write about cheer camp but they have not yet mentioned cj & i don’t know if they plan on going there in the future. so! in book land, addy gets close with another girl at camp and beth is jealous and they have a fight. i just wanted to roll around in the feeeeeeeelings, really.title from team by lorde.
Relationships: Addy Hanlon/Casey Jaye, Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 116





	dancing around the lies we tell

**Author's Note:**

> this is a weird mix of book & show canon bc i wanted to write about cheer camp but they have not yet mentioned cj & i don’t know if they plan on going there in the future. so! in book land, addy gets close with another girl at camp and beth is jealous and they have a fight. i just wanted to roll around in the feeeeeeeelings, really. 
> 
> title from team by lorde.

Cheer camp isn’t going at all how Beth planned.

She had planned on an unsupervised summer; her and Addy levelling up when they felt like putting the time in, and sneaking off to smoke pot when they didn’t. She planned on working on her tan, and in her abs, and she planned on being top girl at camp, just like at school. She planned on friendship bracelets and temporary tattoos, and her and Addy huddled together, judging other girl’s toe-touches, and sneaking out at night.

She had _not_ planned on Casey Jaye.

It had never occurred to her that Addy might make other friends at camp. They _never_ make friends with the other girls, not really. Those girls are just temporary squad members, and Addy has Beth...so Beth really can’t understand why Addy’s bunking down at the other end of the cabin, cool with sharing a bunk with Casey Jaye. Beth has demanded they switch, but Addy waved her off, and now she’s laying around with Casey Jaye, sharing her snacks with Casey Jaye, exchanging phone numbers and insta handles, and Beth doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t know how to insert herself back into Addy’s life, because she’s never been left out of it before.

And it would be a whole different thing if Addy was just palling around with Riri or someone from their squad. Beth would allow that. She’s done that before; chosen Riri over Addy if they’re in a fight; but going outside their squad feels like...infidelity. Beth doesn’t want to think about how much it grates on her.

So she pretends it doesn’t bother her.

(It _clearly_ bothers her.)

She does her top girl thing, kills the new routines, nails her jumps, and barks orders at the other girls, who scatter at her words - all except Addy and Casey Jaye.

She wants to rip every single hair out of Casey Jaye’s scalp, one by one. She wants to dig a knife under her glitter-covered nails. She wants to get her on the top of the pyramid just so she can let her fall; she wants to kick her a few times once she’s down on the ground. She’s never felt anger like this before - like it’s a physical thing, living and growing inside her.

She spends the first couple of days (and nights) at camp icing Addy our. If she wants to be Casey Jaye’s new bestie, fucking let her. She sulks in her bunk with her earbuds in while the other girls gossip and French braid each other’s hair if whatever. She doesn’t want to be a part of their team-building bullshit.

But then, after a torturous day watching Addy and Casey Jaye whisper to each other, and keep pace with each other while doing sprints, it comes to a head later that evening, when Addy’s complaining about a pulled hamstring. Beth has her earbuds in, but no music playing, so she hears. She hears Casey Jaye’s offer to Addy, she sees the tube of ointment, she watches Addy burst into giggles - giggles! - when Casey Jaye brags about her “magic hands”. She watches it all go down and Addy doesn’t even _look_ in her direction, and it has to stop. Now.

“This is boring,” she announces, ripping her earbuds out and tossing them into her bunk. “Are we going to rub each other down lesbionicly all evening, or are we going to do something fun?”

Addy shrugs at her, which is not the endorsement she was looking for. At least Casey Jaye puts the tube away. But still. Beth isn’t finished with her yet.

She reaches into her bag and pulls out the bottle she had intended to be for just her and Addy, stolen from her mom’s stash before boarding the bus.

“I think,” she says, looking around at each girl in turn, trying to convince herself that she’s top girl, she always has been and she always will be, “we should play a game.”

“Oh! Let’s play two truths and a lie,” Casey Jaye suggests. Beth hates her.

“No. That’s stupid. The game is Never Have I ever, bitches. Circle up if you’re playing.” The tone of her voice suggests the girls who _aren’t_ playing might as well go kill themselves. Everyone forms a circle on the floor immediately, because see? Beth’s top girl. Addy sits next to Casey Jaye, across from Beth, which stings but she shakes it off. It doesn’t matter, because the game is Never Have I Ever, and Beth knows _exactly_ what Addy has or hadn’t evered.

(Of course, it occurs to her a little belatedly - Addy knows all her secrets too.)

Someone runs down to the canteen and grabs cups, and Beth passes around the bottle.

“So. We all know how to play? Say something you haven’t done, the sluts who have done it get to drink. And don’t be boring. You’ll just embarrass yourself.”

It comforts her that some of the girls look a little scared.

“I’ll start,” Addy says nonchalantly from across the circle, raising her chin at Beth.

Addy’s not scared, at all.

(Beth’s not either.)

“Never have I ever…” Addy starts, and Beth’s families with the glint in her eyes, but it’s hardly ever directed at her. Beth feels unsteady. “Never have I ever hooked up with someone when my mom’s in the next room.”

Beth exhales. Personal, but not a real secret; pointed but not cruel. A reminder that she knows everything about Beth, perhaps? Good, it’s good she remembers that. At least now Beth knows what game Addy’s playing.

She fakes a laugh and takes a sip, and another girl in the circle chuckles and does too, and then another. The girls all giggle and tease each other and Beth keeps her eyes trained on Addy.

Casey Jaye’s the next to play.

“Never have I ever….knocked out a tooth!”

A few of the girls groan. One says, “you haven’t been doing this long enough if you haven’t.” Half the girls around the circle drink. Casey Jaye doesn’t. Addy doesn’t.

Beth sets her cup on the floor, defiant. Addy levels her with her stare. Casey Jaye doesn’t know about the time in third grade, when Addy cartwheeled right into her and knocked her right incisor - which was loose anyway and due to fall out any day - right down the back of her throat. But will Addy tell, is what Beth wants to know. Does Addy even remember?

Addy looks away, pokes Casey Jaye’s arm. “Your teeth are great,” she says. “Oh my god, yours too,” Casey Jaye simpers. They beam at each other.

Beth wants to set the whole camp on fire.

The girls go around the circle, taking turns and drinking. Boring, tame shit. Never have I ever skipped class? Who the fuck are these girls, even. By the time it’s Beth’s turn again she’s five generous sips in and feeling it a little.

So she decides to up the ante.

“Never have I ever kissed a girl,” she says, raising her cup to Addy across the circle. “Oh wait, whoops.” She tosses back the rest of her cup, then refills it.

Addy frowns. “Beth, that’s not how you play.”

“Well I thought I hadn’t, but then I remembered. What about you, Addy? What do you remember?”

Addy glares, and raises her glass and takes the tiniest sip.

Beth is going to physically murder every single cheerleader on earth.

A few other girls laugh and nod and drink, and Beth doesn’t care about them.

She thought - okay, no, she didn’t think that her and Addy would finally discuss their kiss here, in front of ten other girls. But she thought Addy would at least acknowledge her. She doesn’t know why, because Addy’s been weird in the weeks since the kiss, but she thought...ugh.

It’s embarrassing, but she actually thought that if her and Addy could get out of Sutton Grove and have a little fun time to themselves, then maybe they could get back to the Beth-and-Addy that they used to be. She brought weed and booze and she made playlists and she imagined Addy leaning against her, late at night when they’ve snuck off to smoke, sharing Beth’s headphones. She imagined that her and Addy would maybe finally talk about the kiss, and most embarrassingly, she had thought that maybe if the talking went well, her and Addy would be boarding the bus home as….girlfriends.

Fuck her life.

The next question is about shoplifting, so Beth drinks. Then about blowjobs, so Beth drinks. She’s miserable and angry and drunk, and she can’t even remember if Casey Jaye drank or not to the ‘kissing girls’ question, and it’s driving her crazy. Has Addy kissed her? Kissed her sweetly and softly, so soft it felt like a dream? Has Addy done other things with Casey Jaye? Have they been sneaking off to enjoy each other? Beth wants to scream, wants to throw her cup across the floor. Instead she keeps her face neutral, acts bored, and the next girl says Never-have-I-ever tried ecstasy, so Beth drinks. Never snuck out in the middle of the night? Beth has, so she drinks.

Back on the other side of the circle, it’s Addy’s turn again, and Beth waits for a sign, a clue, any hint that Addy’s aware of her and her broken heart at all.

“Never have I ever been in love,” Addy says, and it’s so simple, how she shatters Beth’s heart into a million pieces.

It’s her own fault, for getting her hopes up, and for thinking she knew what game Addy was playing. Beth gulps down her glass, eyes on Addy, who only has eyes for Casey Jaye. Beth feels so, so stupid.

It’s her own fault, Never Have I Ever was her own idea, after all. Maybe she should have conceded and they could have played Two Truths and a Lie. Maybe she’d be winning that game.

Beth will always be the top girl.

Beth will always love Addy.

Addy will always love her back.

 _No_ , Beth thinks, trying to drown herself in alcohol, waiting for the game to end so she can retire to her bunk. _That wouldn’t have worked._

It’s far too clear which one is the lie.

**Author's Note:**

> asfjgklkh idk this kinda sucks but i’m trying to get their characters down. for the record, i do think addy loves beth, she’s just being difficult. but beth’s probably been difficult their whole lives, so it’s her turn. you know?  
> i’ll try for something more show-centric next time.


End file.
